Why Women Leave Men They Love: What Every Man Needs to Know

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If you observe in public there are far more nice guys with nice women and the minority are the bad guys with the low self esteem, very insecure women ie like attracts like. If you are asking yourself that question, then you obviously aren't a rebel. Reflected Glory Does his unconventional appearance cause people to stare at you two?

People who conform easily as seen as being less intelligent. So stop beating around the bush, and learn something from the bad boy character.

Why Do Good Women Pick the Wrong Men?

Are women predisposed to find men with dark personalities attractive. Although conventional maintains that women should beware of men who say and do the right thing with too much ease, they often can't help but find them utterly appealing. Now, a study led by Gregory Louis Carter of the University of Durham provides new insights into this vexing phenomenon. Research has revealed that more men than women possess the Dark Triad traits of narcissism,and Machiavellism. The hallmarks of narcissism include dominance, a sense why do women love bad men entitlement, and a grandiose self-view. They are also less monogamous. Psychopathy is comprised of callousness, a lack ofand antisocial, erratic behavior. It also lends itself to success in short-term mating, through a moral deficit and interpersonal hostility. Psychopaths have also been found to exhibit superficialdeceit, and a sexually-exploitative interpersonal stance. Machiavellianism is comprised of duplicity, insincerity and. The manipulative, coercive, and opportunistic ways of these individuals are also advantageous in short-term mating; studies do reveal that Machiavellians have been found to be more promiscuous. Indeed, research has established that Dark Triad men demonstrate more sexual success by comparison to their peers. However, Carter and his colleagues point out that virtually all of these studies have used self-report data. In other words, the Dark Triad men participating in these studies have been describing themselves as having more sexual prowess. Given this one-sided view, the researchers wondered whether women would find Dark Triad men more attractive. In order to investigate this question, Carter and his presented 128 female undergraduates with the descriptions of two types of male characters: Dark Triads and controls. The high Dark Triad self- description encompassed traits from the Dirty Dozen measure, which includes: a desire foradmiration, favors, and prestige; the manipulation, exploitation, deceit and flattery of others; a lack of remorse, concerns and sensitivity, and. The control self-description purposefully matched the high Dark Triad description, but it dropped out the dark personality traits. After being presented with one of these two characters, the participants answered questions along a six-point scale about the of the individual's personality they also rated the characters for the personality traits, which is beyond the scope of this post. In addition, factors known to influence attractiveness ratings, such as wealth and level, were omitted in order to reduce the possibility of. The investigators then ran their analyses. What did Carter and his colleagues find. Women found the Dark Triad personality more attractive than the control. This result is in keeping with previous studies in which Dark Triad men reported their increased level of sexual success. What might explain this result. Carter and his colleagues offer two possible explanations. First, sexual selection might be at work. Second, sexual conflict may be at play. Carter and his team report the limitations of the study, including that the participants were undergraduates, a population that tends to be oriented towards short-term relationships. In the real world, the investigators acknowledge that both Dark Triad traits and their derivatives run along a continuum, which was not captured in this study. This study is part of a growing body of research unveiling women's dueling desires. On the one hand, they express wanting a relationship with a loving and committed partner for the long-term. Yet on the other hand, they demonstrate an to men with darker personalities, typically for the short-term. It is important to recognize, however, that this dynamic has been shaped why do women love bad men the demands of evolution. For the women who fall for bad boys—and the men who love them—these insights may help untangle this paradox. Mehta on the web at: and on and. More about the Blogger: Vinita Mehta, Ph. Mehta provides speaking engagements for your organization and for adults. She has successfully worked with individuals struggling withanxiety, and life transitions, with a growing specialization in recovery from and abuse. Mehta is also the author of the forthcoming book Paleo Love: How Our Stone Age Bodies Complicate Modern Relationships. Mehta's other Psychology Today posts Earlier this year I escaped from an abusive relationship with a woman who in retrospect seems to have possessed all three of the dark triad. In fact, early in our relationship she received a formal diagnosis of Narcissistic Personality Disorder, but I chose to ignore the diagnosis due to her very charming and charismatic personality. I have learned many lessons; for instance, no one who wishes to be a romantic partner shall ever again be permitted to intentionally inflict physical pain or discomfort on me against my will. I suspect that the same goes for many of the women who fall for bad boys. I doubt that women have a higher susceptibility than men to fall for dangerous partners; rather, there are simply more dangerous why do women love bad men than dangerous women in the world. My male friends are marriage-minded. I think when men see tattoos, piercings and criminal histories on a woman they subconsciously think the potential romantic partner will provide some excitement, will be more accepting and have lower expectations. These men are in their 40s, so they aren't that worried about what their family's will say about their dates. I've spent some time explaining to them that, yes, women with criminal histories will bring excitement to a relationship but not the kind of excitement one would want. Just look up David Deida his books or on youtube. You may or many not like what he says but with this question, his explanation of the concept of polarity, at least to me, is way more elegant and insightful a perspective that the result of the study referenced in this article. The idea of polarity is also embraced by Anthony Robbins and many others. It would take too long to describe here and anyone interested can google polarity in human relationships or something to that effect. Another point of view to consider. Nobody intends to do anything about it in any event. Women have decided to re-fashion themselves as a punishment to men for being bad, and that's that. But it is somewhat amusing to see the lengths the hamster will go to to re-invent the ancient and familiar starring character of women's soap operas and melodramas: the rake has always been conniving, underhanded, ruthless, untamed, reckless, etc. You can translate it into psychobabble all you want but it's the same old story. It's not borderline date rape, it's bimbo wrangling. So why can't women chase men for their own reasons as opposed to looking for some sort of provider. Just as men will risk their marriages and careers to have sex with a younger, better-looking woman than their wives so too women want to have sex with strong, masculine men. After all when guys are checking out women and give them a number rating they're not grading them on their niceness let alone their ability to be a potential kind wife and mother. Heaven forbid women should actually want to have short-term flings with men they simply find sexy. In Psychology Todayville, women are not supposed to have fun, enjoy life or have sex for pleasure. Women are expected to be perfect. Women are expected to behave properly, search for a provider husband and then turn into a Stepford Wife. Women also need to get a college degree, a good-paying job and have children. Women are expected keep their mouths firmly shut unless they are promoting family values and telling other women what to do. Pole dancing and dating sexy men for pleasure are not approved activities for women here. Men, of course, can do whatever they wish. I don't give a shit if a single mother and her bastard kid starve to death after the husband leaves them. I don't give a damn if a single mother and her bastard kid have to starve to death. And on the topic of men vs women and the whining about women not getting paid the same and blah blah blah. Women get paid less then men because they are inferior to men in the workplace. Women are in less positions of leadership then men because men are much better leaders and the vast majority of women are followers. Feminists can whine all they want but it won't change that. They say they want a sweet and nice guy who listens to them. Ask most women why they are attracted to bad boys and the answer is often something like, I'm not or He's not really a bad boy; you just have to get to know him like I do, etc. A lot of nice guys believe women's self-reporting and end up single, and also end up listening to all of the emotional baggage related to dating why do women love bad men bad boy. My thought is that all dateless guys need to take a study like this to heart: start being edgier and less agreeable, and stop being being the emotional dumping ground for a woman who is miserable because of her dysfunctional dating choices. That's what she means when she says she wants a nice guy. It's not the niceness that makes him attractive. Your choices created the incentive structure that eliminated the generation of such men. I've experienced this with some of my friends who are women, one thing is after listening to them complain about the man is I realized they were with bad boys because they can expect bad behaviour from him. They tend to not date the wonderful men who are their male friends because if that man hurts them, what why do women love bad men they tell themselves then. Women date bad men as a self-fulfilling prophesy that men will end up hurting them, and they can cry about it to the great male friend. I know that women may attack me on this point, even moreso since I'm a woman writing this. They are often very adept at hiding their true personalities until it is too late- I am emotionally involved and hooked. I also came from a family of origin where I experienced a lot of abuse so didn't expect anything better. Now after several years why do women love bad men therapy I am beginning to see the pattern and learning how not to be manipulated. Now I look carefully at the person's character -this seems a lot more attractive to me than a charismatic personality. Before I married my husband over 15 years ago I had a long line of bad boys that I contended with. Those relationships were very dramatic, passionate and highly sexual. The dark side would be the arguments, trust issues and high drama. The only good thing would be the sex- it was incredible. Which likely why do women love bad men from the constant high drama- which all in all- is not a good thing. When I met my current husband I was so relieved- he is a good boy. He is sweet, nurturing, trustworthy and safe. The dark side of being with a good guy. I do not have to worry about cheating, lying or nasty arguments anymore. I would rather be with the good guy, who is a good father, good role model and faithful husband. I do not miss the infidelity, fighting, crying and pressure of being with a bad boy. Does your little hubby know about your past, or are you living a lie. I'll continue to be the bad-boy, get the best sex, and never commit. Thanks for your post as another confirmation that I'm on the right path and should never commit to one woman. Ok ladies you have a choice between two men. One is an obese man with an average face but he has all the other traits of James Dean. He does everything James Dean does perfectly except look like him. The other guy dresses and acts like Steve Urkel, a complete nice guy nerd. However this guy looks exactly like Brad Pitt or Chantum Tatum. I'm highly doubting you'd choose the first over the second guy. When women think of bad boys, they imagine a guy that looks like James Dean or Brad Pitt. Therefore they confuse the personality traits with the physical appearance. I've seen so many average guys try to act like bad boys only to continue getting rejected. I think the real draw is a guy that has a brain and knows how to have fun. Bad boys are perceived as being ahead of other men because they don't conform easily. People who conform easily as seen as being less intelligent. The above is largely meaningless unless the magnitude of the difference is also provided. A p value wouldn't hurt either. Was the difference in attraction only slight, and barely statistically significant. Why omit this very important aspect of the results. Narcissism, machiavellism and psychopathy are the natural state of being for most women, so it makes sense that they'd gravitate towards their own and despise men who don't share these traits. It also explains why they're less likely to be diagnosed with these disorders - who can tell the difference. Hell, most men are so blinded by their hormones that they actually still fall for the sugar and spice act. I don't believe that women are attracted to your so called bad boys at least in the way you are saying. I think women like men who play by the rules as a matter of fact. Its just now the rules seem to be the opposite of rules things that our parents regarded as rebellious are now status quo, thats what women really love whatever is the status quo and however much a man can adhere to those rules. Well most of these very pathetic women nowadays have a very big list of demands when it comes to men. Must have a full head of hair with no baldness at all, be very good looking, has to be in very excellent shape, not overweight at all either, have a very excellent high paying job, own a million dollar home, and drive a very expensive fancy car too. Well that is one hell of a big list these golddiggers want today considering that most of these women now are very obese and not all that attractive at all to begin with.

They have plenty of testosterone because they are not humping every thing they see like a dog. The bad guys also have low self esteem, are very insecure and have big ego's so they have to put on this macho man false front and deep down they have lots of baggage. Good girls can come off bland. We like to see ourselves as conquerors. You can blame the brain washers that are in fact the weak links of society that try to confuse us into believing that if you like naughty sex acts you are useless and cant be a good parent. Does his nonconformity have the potency of an aura? If you are going through life thinking that women like jerks and bad boys because they want to be treated badly, you are wrong. But being a bad boy isn't about being from the wrong side of the tracks.